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It was never a case of “I’m just giving this a try to see if I would prefer humans.” As much as I later experimented with people, I was always sure I wanted horses. Now that I look back, I feel so sorry for her. I don’t think I had any more or less trouble with the “in” crowd than any other kid, and I know a few people looked up to me for my abilities in math, science, and the fact that I was always willing to help people. It’s not as if I didn’t have friends or engage in activities, but I was a little nerdy and not at all athletic. At school you could have called me asexual. What was your adolescence like? Did you experiment sexually?īefore the age of about 10 there was no more than some “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.” Then it was pretty boring until high school. But I didn’t get that close to anybody until I was about 20. No, not until later in high school when it came to be the expected thing. Does that mean it’s fair to say that your sexual awakening revolved around horses?ĭid you have sexual feelings toward humans as well? Sometimes I wonder if I just lacked the courage. I saw farms that I’d have loved to go explore, but they were never near my home. I always was on the lookout for horses when I was traveling. I grew up in the city, so I didn’t have much access. So that would be when I was first aware that I was different. And I didn’t realize it was abnormal at that time, but the comments attached to those pictures were all going on about how disgusting it was. And later I’d go to pre-internet online dial-up forums and that’s where I came across bestiality porn. So the book aroused you? Did you masturbate over the images of horses? I feel like my sexual development was bang on - I just had a different affection. I wasn’t going to go broadcast what I was doing, but I also wasn’t thinking to hide.
At the time I didn’t really think of myself as different or unusual it was just what I was interested in. It was a very interesting book - everything you ever wanted to know about horses.
Everybody else was stealing their dads’ Playboy magazines, but I had a book called The Big Book of the Horse. I started to notice horses in “that” way when I was about 11 or 12. All they did was go ‘round and ‘round I could sense something about that in their attitude. I think I was bothered by how awful the situation was for them. I begged my parents to let me go so I could ride the ponies, but when I got on a horse’s back I was absolutely horrified. There was a carnival in a parking lot across the street from my house and it had a parade of them walking around in circles. The first time I saw a horse I was 7 years old. When did you first realize you were attracted to horses? Do you have a horse “coming of age” narrative? Here, a 42-year-old man from Canada describes his life as a zoophile attracted to female horses. states and European countries - the lived experience of being a zoo is rarely heard outside of underground online forums or secret meet-up groups. As a result of legal restrictions - sex with an animal is illegal in most U.S. While it’s certainly not a homogeneous community, many “zoos” (as they are known to self-identify) are monogamous and live with their animals as if they were human partners. In 2002 the sex therapist Hani Miletski published Understanding Bestiality and Zoophilia, a book based on her study of almost 100 zoophiles - research that led her to conclude that many form deep, loving, and very nurturing relationships with their animal partners. Bestiality, the act of having sex with an animal, tends to conjure images of a mucky, socially inadequate, desperate farmer sneaking into the barn after dark, or depraved groups of thrill-seekers forcing sex with drugged, abused, or otherwise mistreated animals (like the case of Douglas Spink and the animal-sex-tourism farm in Washington State).īut the sexual identity that can be attached to bestiality, zoophilia, remains little understood.